"Why Me?"

How many of us struggle with patience? Why does the fast-pace of life seem to sometimes haunt us? Why does the rat-race seem to hover over us saying, “nana nana na-na” at the worst possible times? Why do we get frustrated when things don’t go our way and we wished things would? Answer: Because there is something bigger ahead that we cannot see. I think we are all proof of this to some extent. And many of my fellow family and friends have life stories as well to support this. From the bumper to bumper traffic on the freeway when you’re already late to work, to rushing to the checkout line at the grocery store with the lady in front of you in line with 100 items in her basket and your 1 item with no other checkers at the register when your late for a wedding, to not getting that job you thought would be perfect for you, to not getting accepted to the University you thought you would be. It’s times like this we sit back and say, “Why me?” Reality is, things do happen for a reason, whether we think so or not. And this life we live isn’t always about “me” as society has so eloquently portrayed.

Yes, I have been feeling more and more lately that the “why me” mentality is getting to me. I spent 5 years at Victor Valley College taking pre-med classes because I have dreamed of becoming an Optometrist for the past 15 years. I applied to medical school for 3 straight years and when I received a call from Ohio State University for an interview for the doctorate program, I was thrilled. After flying to Ohio, spending 3 days there and completing the tense 6 hour interview process, I found out in a declination letter the school accepted 67 students that year and the guy sitting right next to me in the interview hall at OSU was the last one accepted.
Since then, my priorities have shifted. I have traveled to a number of places in this world including Hawaii and Costa Rica where we trekked through the rainforests in Monte Verde. I finished school, graduated with a bachelors degree, have become closer to my family, volunteered at my church home, met a group of friends I would not trade for the world, not to mention living in my own place. That’s where my happiness is. But it’s not over for me. I did leave one of my favorite jobs in pursuit of a dream of mine. To become a doctor…and I am on my way, just not the same direction I was going. Now that I am in my master’s program at Cal. State Fullerton, I am that much closer.

Many nights I have struggled with the decision I made. Did I do the right thing? I had a great job, a great place to live, great friends close by, and a great church home. Is this really worth it for the next few years of school, driving 100 miles a day on average, living ½ the week at my father’s home in Orange County & the other ½ of the week at my mother‘s house in the High Desert with little or no money to get through? Of course it is. It is easy? Geese, yeah right. I may not understand why things are so twisted now, but 5 years from now, I will know… And I am thankful for the opportunity. Thankfulness goes a VERY long way. And I am coping with the “why me” syndrome.

We have the freedom to do whatever we want in life. We have the freedom and opportunity to become whoever we want, whenever we want. Patience is the key. Just ask Nola Ochs, one of America’s oldest college graduates at Fort Hayes State University in Kansas, who at 95 years old, received her college degree in History in May of 2007 because she said, “I still wanted to graduate… “That desire was still there.” Read the full story if you wish at https://www.americanprofile.com/article/23364.html

My professor of my Phonetics class told us a few weeks ago that her husband had worked for a hospital administration company for the past 15+ years and left last year to pursue a master’s degree to become a Physician’s Assistant. So now he is at home with their 3 kids while he completes his classes for entrance into the program. No one said life is easy. It can be done. You all know the saying, “where there’s a will, there is a way.”

So how do I do it? What gets me through? Patience…I may not know why things happen the way they do now, but I eventually will. My family, my friends and my church are my rock. They will be there when I am done. And they have been supporting me thus far on my journey and will continue to until I am finished. That’s what drives me. If you want something bad enough, you can get it. But we have to be willing to put in the time and effort to do it. Thank you to all of you supporting me. It really does make a difference.

So, I have decided the next time I get frustrated with this “rat-race, fast-paced, ‘why me,’ feeling” hanging over my head, I will grab it, throw it in a bucket, squirt water on it, drive it to the highest point in Southern California (Mt. Whitney incase you didn’t know) and throw it off the cliff of the mountain! Poof! Be gone! Take that you mischievous spirit!

Until Next Time…

Scottie

Seasons of Change

What do you get when you uproot yourself from the comfort of your own home, leave your job, leave your church, leave your friends and leave the place you are most comfortable with? You get a place of newness, a place where your faith and your heart lead you, and much more time to think about things in your life. Although I haven’t left the country or the state like some of our fellow friends and family, things sure have changed.

I find myself in a completely different lifestyle now living in Orange County. I did spend the first few years of my life living in Orange County in the 1980’s, but times were quite different then. I was carefree each day, coming home from school to ride my bike, to play in the sandbox out back, to climb my neighbors trees and scare my mom, and of course play the latest Zelda, Super Mario Bros. and Mega-Man games on the “original” Nintendo.

Things are a little different now that responsibility plays a huge role in life. Uprooting myself is something I have struggled with for many years, because most people, just like me, don’t like change. I am content with my decision to go back to school, and though it will be a long ride till I see the light at the end of the tunnel, life just isn’t any fun without challenges and obstacles.
During my first week of school at Cal. State Fullerton, I was literally dodging in and out of 35,000 people on my way to class. What’s so funny is most people have this rendition of how “Orange County” people are. You know, “how much do you make and what do you drive attitude” Boy, are they right. You just don’t fit in if you don’t have: The name brand clothing on, listening to an IPOD on the way to class, on your IPHONE chatting away at what your boyfriend/girlfriend did to them last night that totally made them mad, texting someone the whole time in class, standing in line making the Bursar’s Office wait because your on the phone, driving that 2008 Mercedes “E” Class at 22 years old, and having the “Bling” to show off to your friends. So what do I do? Pull up in my little red Honda Civic with no A/C as I am almost run over by the Mercedes, park a mile away from my classroom, walk to class with my Kohl’s clothing on because I would rather eat breakfast and lunch than have the latest $100 pair of jeans on, all with a smile and a “hi, how are you” greeting as I walk by everyone on the way to class. I get the funniest looks and the “what the heck is his problem?” or “why is he doing that” attitude from students. I just love it. Take that Orange County!

Believe it or not, the 3 people I sat next to in my 2nd class are all Christians and have become great friends and dedicated study partners while in the program. Even better, all 3 of them are in all 4 of my classes. What are the odds? Guess you know who my credit goes to.
Now in my 7th week of class, I have begun to get involved with the Speech & Language Clinic at CSU Fullerton. So far, I have observed a number of clients with a variety of disorders. Some have had a stroke that impaired their ability to speak (called Aphasia for you smart people), some with Dysphasia (swallowing disorders), Apraxia (motor coordination problems and speech delays), others with brain trauma from car accidents, and still others I have observed with mild to severe Autism, Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome. Phew. That was a lot to take in. Each case is different, with some who will be healed and returned to 100% normalcy and others who will be not as fortunate.

Those 5 years I spent at Victor Valley College taking pre-med courses have helped me tremendously in 2 of my classes so far, Communication Disorders and Anatomy/Physiology. See, I knew those classes I took back then weren’t a waste! Who would’ve known I would need them now?! Many of my fellow students in class struggle because they didn’t come from a science based background in their undergraduate studies.

While the subject material is not a walk in the park and many hours of homework follow each night, I am fed well by my parents at dinnertime while I take a break to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Heading back to the books about 8pm, My brain tells me at 1 am to knock it off and shut the lights out to get energized for the morning, and I gladly listen. I am just thankful for a place to live and the opportunity to go to school to better myself, better my education and provide help to others who are not as fortunate as we all are. After all, I think most of us would agree we are not here for ourselves but to show love and attention to those who need it…

My journey continues and I will be giving you all updates as they come. For now, please continue to be praying for me, my decisions for school, clarity & focus and success in the program…

Thanks ya’ll!

Scottie

Friendship Matters

What happens when you get 11 people from HDC together for 4 days in the Yosemite Valley in the hot summer month of July? You get us crazies running around the valley floor of Yosemite, crackin jokes, pokin' fun of Roberto trying to set up a tent (uh...Scottie...where does this piece go?) riding bikes, singing songs around the campfire, watching Jason as he preformed his Chiropractic skills on the 5" wide bench of the picnic table, floating down the Merced river with no rafts in 50 degree water and freakin' out at the bear that was going through our neighbor's campsite about 20 yards away. What we really had in store for us was our 17+ mile hike to the top edge of Half Dome and back from our campsite. Unattainable?...ha ha. I don't think so.

So there we were, all excited, energized and anxious as we breathed the mountainous air of Yosemite. It was early Thursday morning, the breakfast was cookin,' the sky was just starting to turn a purplish-blue color, the birds were cheerin' away and we were gearin' up for our exciting hike.

We began one of the biggest challenges most of us ever faced, even me. Who climbs up 5,000 feet elevation and then back down in a single day anyway? Ummm...we do. As we started out on the valley floor, we didn't see many fellow hikers coming from the opposite way or going our way. Why? Because we took the wrong trail to start out! By the time we figured it out, we were almost 2 miles in the negative, even before we started!! Figures...

On our hike up, the shade of the trees kept the trail cool & tranquil. We crossed over the Merced River as it raged under the bridge beneath us about 1 mile into the trip. What powerful force water has. We kept going, taking breaks as need & hydrating ourselves. We arrived at Vernal Falls (about 3 miles from the base) and were in awe of the enormous waterfall. It was a great site. We crossed the waterfall to stop for lunch and enjoy the scenery. We pushed on again, reaching to a point where the John Muir Trail & Mist Trail cross. And there, a sign was posted...Half Dome = 4.3 miles. It was about 11 am or so, and we pushed on. By this time, conversations started to dwindle, laughs were more spread out, and our pack started to break up into smaller 2-3 people groups. We kept going, enduring the mid-summer sun directly above us. Food was getting low, water was 1/2 way gone and the sunburn was starting to show.

About 3 of us rounded the corner there it was...a sign for half dome. We had no idea how much farther it was. We rushed to the sign. As it got closer we read it..."Half Dome...2.1 miles" We were like, "Are you kiddin me?!" We couldn't believe it!

The breaks were becoming even more frequent as the day wore on. By this time, it was about 1 pm. Exhausted, foodless and low on water, we kept going. We started noticing we were passing the treeline (the elevation where trees do not grow anymore) and we knew we had to be close! A couple of us stopped at the base of the last tree to wait for the others and awe...there it was. We could see Half Dome just ahead. It was massive, much bigger than all of us thought. But to get there, we still had to climb rock switchbacks for another distance of about 1/2 mile. This was terror on our legs and feet and...there were no supports to keep you on the trail. You slip and fall, you are heading down the mountain. At this point, we were fired up. Between the cuts, bruises, empty food containers and minimal water, we had arrived at the base of half dome. Some turned back because the switchback rock climb became too narrow and dangerous. For the rest of us, Half Dome was in sight, and we were going to give everything we had to get to the top.

At the base of Half Dome, piles of gloves ly scattered around from people that leave them behind after the climb up half dome. Parallel cables line the face of half dome that disappear up the side of the rock. The cables are steel rods that are driven into the rock that go all the way to the top (about 700 feet) at about a 45 degree angle (so much of an angle that if you don't hang onto the cables to pull yourself up, you will fall backward and down to your death...hence the reason for the gloves).

The few of us that were left pumped ourselves full of energy and went for it! We strapped on the gloves, gulped the rest of our water, and climbed like we never climbed before. The rockface was very slippery but we held on. Foot by foot we climbed up to the top were there are no trees. The wind blew like a constant voice from all around, the temperature dropped significantly and the top was almost near. Our arms and shoulders were giving all they had to keep ourselves going, for the goal was just footsteps away! And after about 20 minutes, we grabbed onto the last cable, pulled ourselves up and there it was...a breathtaking view of the Sierra Nevadas, almost 10,000 feet in the air with nothing but crisp, clean air, 360 degree views of the surrounding mountains, and the valley floor 5000 feet down. The view was stunning. It really is hard to believe in no God when you are surrounded by these views.

From the top, the views were spectacular, completely breathtaking, unlike anything you have ever seen. Your body, mind & soul go into a sense of awe, taking it all in. We had done it, put our physical bodies to the test. Now we just needed a helicopter to pick us up and fly us back down to the bottom with dinner ready. Yeah...right.

We enjoyed about an hour at the top taking pictures, meeting our friend "Badger the Marmot" and fed the squirrels before we turned around.

On the way back, we weren't looking forward to the 8.5 miles back down to the valley floor. We had no food left, most of our water bottles were empty and it was already about 3 pm. As we traveled back down, conversations were quiet, and we could think about is getting to the campsite for food, water & relaxation. On the trail, our feet & legs started to shake as we walked. There was nothing we could do except push on. Your body does funny things when it's pushed to the max. It goes into overdrive. It hits a threshold when it is completely exhausted. Muscles shake so bad, its hard to stand. That's what we were fighting. About 3/4 of the way down, we finally came across the Merced River. Most of us didn't think we were going make the rest of the trip without stopping, so we dove into the frigid 50 degree water. It was freakin' cold! As cold as it was, it gave our bodies a shock and contracted our muscles. The temporary relief was much needed and felt soooo good. A married couple were sitting on the sand with a water purifier which we borrowed, pumped fresh water from the river & drank from it. We were all determined to make the rest of the trip without collapsing.

On we went as the sun went down. I fell back with Roberto and Maryjo as we closed in on the last 1 1/2 miles. It was dark now, we had flashlights to light our way and Roberto's legs were giving out. I could tell he was really struggling just to stand and walk, even with walking sticks. About the last mile, I bent down. Roberto got on my back and I carried him back to where we parked. What are friends for right? If he could pick me up, he would have. We had made it, the last 3, back safe.

There were so many things we all learned on this trip. I know I keep rambling on, so I will make it quick. It was a triumphant trip, one that will never be forgotten. It was a journey of faith, where friends keep you going, encourage you till the end, and rely on you to get you through it. We all leaned on each other the entire trip. What makes great friends? Dependability, respect, trust, giving each other room to change, disagreeing without hurting each other, listening & solving problems, laughing with you and standing by you. Anais Nin says it best as she writes, "Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Friendships get us through. Period.

Summertime

~Summertime~

Current mood: enlightened

Summer-time is stereotypically known for college students to go out and have as much fun as you can with friends, family, getting kinda crazy (for some of us) and getting crazy ridiculous (for others of us). It's a time for us to let loose and get rid of that winterized, indoor mentality that we get caught up in (I feel sorry for the people living in Alaska).

This summer has been no exception for me. Living in the desert, we get the cold 20 degree temperatures in the wintertime and hot 110 degree days in the summertime. Of course we would want to get out there and get a tan, go to the beach and live it up while its hot. Knowing me, this year is no different, except for this summer had a twist to it.

This year I had the opportunity to volunteer as a camp counselor with the jr. high and high school ministry at High Desert Church in Victorville. Almost 300 students from the church traveled to Hume Lake, California (South and East of Yosemite) for 6 days of well...you guess it...A LOT OF NOISE. There were approximately 37 counselors from our church that went to be apart of this adventure and what an adventure it was. I had 10 students, 1/2 of them sophomores & 1/2 of them juniors in my cabin. Between getting roughly 2-3 hours of sleep each night, the God AWEFUL smells of high school boys in one tiny room and the amount of exhaustion your body goes through as it is pushed 20 hours a day was unbelievable, not to mention for zero pay. Your faith ultimately gets tested, but I would not have had it any other way. I am sure the rest of our counselors felt the same way (right Robos & Bots??!!) I remember at our meeting before we left Pastor Tim Kuhl said to me, "This will not be a vacation for you." I was like, yeah right...how hard could it be. I will have so much free time, I won't know what to do with myself. AINT!! Wrong answer. What was in store for me was entirely different.

Joseph Lightfoot summed it up by saying, "If you help others, consult their weaknesses, relieve their maladies and strive to raise them up, by doing this you will effectually raise yourself up also." A sense of "wow, its not about me anymore" comes over you. These 10 high school students looked up to me for everything and watched me, even when I was not looking. All they wanted was for someone to care for them, have fun with, entertain them and laugh with them. It's funny when you engage in recreation, worship, prayertime, and one-on-one conversations with them that most of them look up to you, open up and share things they wouldn't dare tell their parents. The bond that's shared with them creates a mentor-type friendship that you will never forget. That's when I realized life is not about me anymore, it's about others and what we can do to help them succeed in life.

My experience as a counselor will never be forgotten and I can't wait to do it again next year. I think once you come to a point in life when you believe "it's about others, not me mentality," your appreciation for friends and the younger generation skyrockets. It has for me. I am excited for next year at Hume Lake as a counselor, and even excited for us counselors to get pounded in the Gauntlet again by a Big Ogar with a jousting stick (yes I got knocked into the water by him...)I will be emailing pictures to you guys from Hume in the next couple of days. Also, feel free to check out Hume's website at http://www.humelake.org/ We are under "High School Ponderosa, Week 4." Check us out getting taken out by the Big Ogar (I'm the one getting my head pounded in the water!) Or to get there faster, you can click on this link

http://www.humelake.org/photos/?id=215 and choose Ponderosa High School Camp, Week 4, Thursday.

All in all, it's the learning as we go & experience in life that gives us a reality check of who we are as Christians. Our creator has mapped out our life anyway, even when we don't think so. If I didn't believe there was a God before camp, I sure would have now! I would encourage any of you who have not had the opportunity to be a counselor to be one. The opportunities and promises God has in store for your lives are endless. You will not regret it, I promise you.

Scottie